Tools for Mentoring

History Telling Questions

[Beginning Level] [Middle Level] [Deeper Level] [Friendship Questions] [Family Questions]

Name Games
History Telling Activities
History Telling Questions
Tell About Your Past Week/Event
Member in the Spotlight
Asking Questions Games
Trust Building Games
Large Group Games

The more openness, honesty, and vulnerability the leader shows the group in responding to the questions, the more likely the group members will be to share their true feelings. Emphasize the importance of listening and discovering new things about each other. The leader must model good listening skills and insist that the members follow his example: focus intently on each speaker, maintain consistent eye contact, and respond appropriately. (From: Talking the Walk by Dave Bartlett & Bill Muir. Zondervan, 2000.)

Beginning Level of Relationship Building

  1. Describe the best time you had this summer.
  2. If you had one wish for your small group, what would it be? What steps are you willing to take to make it come true?
  3. If you could describe yourself in terms of a flavor what would you be?
  4. What was the best gift you ever received as a child?
  5. When are you the happiest?
  6. What do you love to do?
  7. Who is Jesus Christ to you?
  8. What's one talent or skill that you possess?
  9. Describe your bedroom.
  10. If you could be any part of a building what part would you choose to be? Why?
  11. Are you most like a sandy shore, a rocky coast, a thick forest, or a snow-capped mountain? Why?
  12. In three words, describe your life before you were a Christian. In three words, describe your life after you became a Christian. (Use only if everyone in the group is a Christian.)
  13. Where would you like to be five years from now? What would you be doing? What job would you have?
  14. If you were given $100,000 to spend in one week, what would you do with it?
  15. What do you like to do with your free time?
  16. If you could visit with anyone (except Jesus) from history, who would it be and why?
  17. If you could spend a month with anyone alive today, who would it be and why?
  18. If you knew you could not fail, what are two things that you would like to do or accomplish in the next ten years?
  19. If you could live any place in the world, where would it be? What attracts you to that place?
  20. Describe an answer to prayer.
  21. What are two good qualities your parents instilled in you?
  22. Tell us about the most daring and adventurous thing you've ever done.
  23. What is the best book you've ever read besides the Bible? What did you enjoy about it?
  24. What is your happiest memory?
  25. What's under your bed?
  26. What has God been teaching you recently?
  27. On what food are you most likely to lose restraint?
  28. If you could go anywhere and do anything for a month, where would you go and what would you do?
  29. Name two people (except Jesus, parents) who have influenced your life and tell how they impacted you.
  30. What almost kept you from coming to this meeting?
  31. If you had a fire at your house and all the people were safe and you had time to save five things important to you (with weight being no problem), what five things would you save in order of their importance to you?
  32. From your purse or wallet, show four different things – 1) something valuable, 2) something worthless, 3) something memorable, 4) something revealing.
  33. From your childhood, name four of your favorite things – game, hero, music, school subject. Make one of them wrong and see if the others can guess which one it is.
  34. If you were to describe your life in terms of a weather report, what would you say?
  35. What specific thing do you want God to do in your life or for you? Pray for each other about it.
  36. If you were told you have only one week to live and you were healthy, how would you spend it?
  37. Describe the perfect husband or wife.
  38. What is the best advice you ever received?
  39. Tell about one of the happiest days of your life.
  40. If someone would give you anything in the world for your birthday, what would you like it to be?
  41. What do you like to do in your spare time?
  42. Describe the best teacher you ever had.
  43. Describe the worst teacher you ever had.
  44. Tell a little known fact about yourself.
  45. How can we pray for you this week?
  46. Tell why you chose the particular name for your e-mail address.
  47. If you could describe yourself in terms of a flavor what would you be? Why?
  48. What were some of the rules in your home growing up?
  49. Tell us about your favorite movie. What is your favorite part?
  50. Name and describe one of your personal heroes.
  51. Where have you traveled? Tell about one of your experiences.
  52. What is a hobby you enjoy?
  53. In Jr. High, where did you live and what is one thing that you remember about that time?
  54. What is one thing you are looking forward to that you know will happen in the near future?
  55. Finish the sentence: The reason I'm here right now is …
  56. Finish the sentence: One fear I had in coming here was …
  57. Finish the sentence: One thing I'm excited ( happy) about in my life right now is …
  58. Finish the sentence: The most powerful person I know is …
    ("Finish the sentences" above from: Talking the Walk by Dave Bartlett & Bill Muir. Zondervan, 2000.)
  59. Finish the sentence: Words can't describe how I felt when...

Middle Level of Relationship Building

  1. Choose some object or animal from nature that best represents your experience with other Christians.
  2. Which of the following three body parts best describes how you serve others: an ear (listening), a tongue (talking), or a hand (helping)?
  3. Describe an important decision you've made in the last year.
  4. Describe ways in which you see yourself changing.
  5. Describe or name some things you worry about.
  6. What are four of your most valuable possessions? What makes them valuable to you?
  7. Who has had the most significant influence on your life? Describe how his/her influence affected you.
  8. With which person in your life can you be most honest and why?
  9. Describe two major turning points in your life.
  10. Tell your spiritual journey. (See Member in the Spotlight for more about telling your spiritual journey.)
  11. How do you feel about your relationship with God at the present time?
  12. How does being in fellowship with other Christians impact your life? What experiences with Christian fellowship have you had?
  13. What are two qualities do you like about yourself and why?
  14. What is one thing in your Christian life that you would like to improve this year?
  15. Pretend you're driving in a car listening to your favorite music and all of a sudden the radio turns static. God breaks in on the airwaves to talk to you. What do you think he'd want to say to you?
  16. If you could be a missionary, what country would you go to and why?
  17. If you were comfortable speaking in public, what message would you most want to communicate to your church or college group? Why?
  18. What words, images, or metaphors about God are most meaningful to you? Which images or pictures do you find difficult or barriers for you? How do these images affect your prayer life?
  19. If you could ask Jesus any question and knew he would answer it fully and clearly, what would it be?
  20. When did God become more than a word to you?
  21. You have crashed in the mountains with no hope of rescue. You have a pen and paper to write a letter that will be found and delivered. To whom would you write and what would you say?
  22. Tell about a high point in your life.
  23. If you described your present spiritual life on a scale of one to ten with one being deeply depressed and ten being rapture, where would you place yourself?
  24. What would you like to be remembered for after you die?
  25. What advice would you give a man or a woman about to get married?
  26. Who provided the most human warmth to you growing up?
  27. In one sentence (or word), what is life all about?
  28. Tell a frightening moment from your childhood.
  29. Describe a happy family.
  30. If you wrote a book, what would the title be?
  31. What epitaph would you like for others to put on your tombstone?
  32. How would you define love? Who has shown you that kind of love?
  33. What do you think makes a happy marriage?
  34. How would you define courage?
  35. What would you like the courage to do?
  36. What legacy would you like to leave to the human race when you die?
  37. If you could instantly change one habit in your life what would it be?
  38. Describe a moment when you felt loved by God.
  39. What advice would you pass on to someone who asked?
  40. Name something you've learned about yourself recently. How did you come to learn it?
  41. What is one of the most important or meaningful things to you about being a Christian?
  42. What is the meaning of prayer in your life? When is it easy to pray and when is it hardest? In what way do you want to grow in your prayer life?
  43. What is one thing which has helped your prayer life and one thing which has hindered your prayer life?
  44. Finish the sentence: One thing about me you probably don't know is …
  45. Finish the sentence: One area of my life in which I'm proud of myself is …
  46. Finish the sentence: One thing I don't understand about the opposite sex is …
  47. Finish the sentence: Ways in which I see myself changing are …
  48. Finish the sentence: I am more of a talker (or listener) because …
  49. Finish the sentence: I get people's attention by …
  50. Finish the sentence: I get into trouble when I …
  51. Finish the sentence: I'm afraid to …
  52. Finish the sentence: One observation I've made about our group is …
    ("Finish the sentences" above from: Talking the Walk by Dave Bartlett & Bill Muir. Zondervan, 2000.)
  53. Finish the sentence: A whole new world opened up to me when...
  54. Finish the sentence: Home should be a place that...
  55. Finish the sentence: The most stressful area of my life right now is …
  56. Finish the sentence: One habit I'm working on changing is …
  57. Finish the sentence: One area of my life in which I feel really strong right now is …

Deeper Level of Relationship Building

  1. What has been a difficult experience in your life? In detail, describe how God worked through that experience.
  2. If you could call on this group to commission you to one task that lies ahead, what would it be? Pray for each other.
  3. What do you do when you're sad? How could someone best comfort you?
  4. What spiritual disciplines do you practice? What are the strengths and weaknesses in your personal use of spiritual disciplines? Where would you like to grow in this area? What can help you? What hinders you?
  5. If you could go back and change any year of your life, which would it be and what would you do differently?
  6. What do you see as the purpose of your life at this time? Do you feel that you are, to some degree, accomplishing this purpose? Why or why not?
  7. What does it mean to you to be true to yourself? In what situations are you tempted to compromise yourself?
  8. What does it mean to you to be free? Do you feel that you are free? Why or why not?
  9. What are the things that you find have most meaning for you in life?
  10. Tell about a disappointment you had as a child.
  11. Do you ever feel lonely? When? What do you do?
  12. What feelings do you have the most trouble expressing?
  13. What things make your life complicated?
  14. What is one lifetime dream still yet to come true?
  15. What do you dislike about yourself the most?
  16. Tell about a time when your feelings were hurt. How did you process it?
  17. Tell about a big let-down in your life. How did you process it?
  18. If someone were to ask you what's important in your life, what would you say?
  19. If that same person were to take a look at the way you live, do you think he'd be able to spot those things you consider important?
  20. Who understands you the best? How can you tell?
  21. Was there a situation in the recent past in which you were instrumental in the growth of another person? If so, in what way were you instrumental?
  22. What's one of your biggest fears? Pray for each other that God will them overcome it.
  23. Finish the sentence: The most frightening experience I ever had was...
  24. Finish the sentence: One thing I missed during my childhood was...
  25. Finish the sentence: If I could live my life over again...

Friendship Questions

  1. Describe an important friendship in your life right now.
  2. Describe the characteristics about your friends that you enjoy.
  3. Who is your best friend? Why? What qualities do you admire about him/her?
  4. What do you like to do with your friends?
  5. What things would you change if you could about your relationship(s) with your friends(s)?

Family Questions

Beginning Level

  1. Describe some important traditions in your family.
  2. What sorts of things does your family like to do together?
  3. What do you like best about your parents and your family?

Middle Level

  1. Who are you closest to in your family? Why?
  2. What are your parents like; how do you feel about them?
  3. What would you change about your family if you could change one thing?
  4. Your family may have some expectations for you and your life. What are some of them?

Deeper Level

  1. What are your parents like; how do you feel about them?
  2. What are some characteristics that your father has that you desire in your own life? Do you reject for yourself?
  3. What are some characteristics that your mother has that you desire in your own life? Do you reject for yourself?
  4. What causes the most arguments, conflicts, problems, etc. in your family?
  5. What are you concerned about right now when you think of home?
  6. How are you feeling about going home?



How to Lead a Small Group
Components of a Small Group
Small Group Guidelines
Practical Solutions to Common Small Group Dilemmas
Leading an Effective Discussion
Relationship Builders
Build Your Own Bible Study
Worship Ideas for Small Groups
Prayer Ideas for Small Groups
Praying with Others
Feedback for Discussion Facilitators


Regular small group help and advice on Facebook


© 2018 Father Heart Ministries, Inc. All rights reserved.
Web design & development by Bearing the Light LLC.